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Walkiestime Dog Diary

Hi All

Sorry not be on here much I am still struggling with the loss of my brother and my parents too their grief is more I just wish the pain would subside a bit - my sleep patterns are getting worse and the tension headaches are bad. The only thing keeping me going is my dog and cat clients and my own furry angels
 
If you haven't already grief counselling really helped me ...
Grief is a real heartache and can make you feel very ill ...be kind to yourself xxx
 
Hi there , sorry to hear you are struggling. The idea of counselling is a good one although you should be ready to look around and not just accept the first one offered as their approaches can differ wildly. If your parents are having trouble too give family therapy a thought. Its scary at first but my mum found it helpful to have my ( as she thought ) cold sister in law open up about how difficult she found it to cope and how she felt she had to be strong. Changed the way mum felt about SIL and helped the relationship no end. Sometimes you can say things in therapy that you wouldnt otherwise say and that can help.

Also pinpointing the type of grief is helpful. I know this sounds mad but... a lot of people are angry and dont dare say so , because eveyone says they should be sad because the loved one is gone. Yet you can be angry at the illness, the medical treatment the fact that the person 'gave up' (ended treatment or didnt try everything that was available) or just because your support is gone...Some people feel anger at loosing a sibling because they feel 100% responsible for their parents.. Its somethimes surprising to hear the parents say they feel anger because they are now 100% responsible for the remaining child as that child has no sibling to lean on! So there are loads of things that you may need to work through before you can let go but it really is helpful to consult a professional.

And remember there are no rules and no time limit to grief only you know when its time ..
 
Sorry to hear this @Walkiestime :-( our animals really do help us get through some difficult times, we are lucky to have them
 
I lost my youngest son eight years ago , I remember thinking life would never be the same and I would never laugh again. I can,t tell you how I got through it because most of the time I felt numb i think my brain just switched off to protect itself. I was right in that life is not the same without him but I was wrong about never laughing, we just have to get out of bed and do our best to get through the day. There will come a morning when you realise that the sun has come out again and that you can carry on but you just need time.
 
Yes our animals can help us, but not always. I have Dudley because my granddaughters partner died suddenly and unexpected. She could not cope with her grief and the puppy because he was theirs.
I took him with the expectation of him going back. Three years down the line she has a cat and is just beginning to move on.
I still have Dudley
 
Free spirit said:
I lost my youngest son eight years ago , I remember thinking life would never be the same and I would never laugh again. I can,t tell you how I got through it because most of the time I felt numb i think my brain just switched off to protect itself. I was right in that life is not the same without him but I was wrong about never laughing, we just have to get out of bed and do our best to get through the day. There will come a morning when you realise that the sun has come out again and that you can carry on but you just need time.
Click to expand...

So sorry to hear this :-(
 
I can’t even to begin to laugh yet - this Christmas will be the worst as it will be our first without my brother
 
Mad Murphy said:
Hi there , sorry to hear you are struggling. The idea of counselling is a good one although you should be ready to look around and not just accept the first one offered as their approaches can differ wildly. If your parents are having trouble too give family therapy a thought. Its scary at first but my mum found it helpful to have my ( as she thought ) cold sister in law open up about how difficult she found it to cope and how she felt she had to be strong. Changed the way mum felt about SIL and helped the relationship no end. Sometimes you can say things in therapy that you wouldnt otherwise say and that can help.

Also pinpointing the type of grief is helpful. I know this sounds mad but... a lot of people are angry and dont dare say so , because eveyone says they should be sad because the loved one is gone. Yet you can be angry at the illness, the medical treatment the fact that the person 'gave up' (ended treatment or didnt try everything that was available) or just because your support is gone...Some people feel anger at loosing a sibling because they feel 100% responsible for their parents.. Its somethimes surprising to hear the parents say they feel anger because they are now 100% responsible for the remaining child as that child has no sibling to lean on! So there are loads of things that you may need to work through before you can let go but it really is helpful to consult a professional.

And remember there are no rules and no time limit to grief only you know when its time ..
Click to expand...
Thank you xxx still angry
 
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