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Ugly Bitch

Whippets Rule said:
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Hmmm, she does look like she's got a wee bit of a gob on, doesn't she???!!! (w00t)

This has to be the funniest post ever ... you've made my day :cheers:
 
Awww, you just want to kiss her sweet little face, she looks so contrite about whatever new bit of mischief she has got into.

My chihuahua Bridget also hates everything on earth - people, kids, strange dogs, old ladies and screams at them like a banshee whenever she runs into somthing - which is quite often! :rant:

You've gotta love a dog with a bit of character, I adore my Bridget Bimbo Barker. :wub:

(ps, we are thinking of applying for a credit card in her name, bet we'd get it too this country is so screwed up!)
 
(w00t) Dun ya just wana grab her face and pucker those lips up and give her a big old smackerooney on the lips ,bless her i think shes adorable ,you just send her to me she will fit in well with my delincwents :- " :lol:
 
seriously folks you cannot kiss her.....she gets very indignant if you do.

sometimes i grab her little face and give her a kiss and she moo's loudly and turns her head in disgust and stalks off in a huff...it's like " unhand me you filthy creature, how dare you kiss what you cannot afford!"

even when you are really nice to her she treats you with extreme suspicion.

if i give her a food treat, she takes it in her teeth really gingerly and deposits it on the floor and examines it and sniffs it from every conceivable angle before deciding if it is poisoned or not! (w00t)

if anyone needs to examine her in any way, for example her ears...she scoots away at a rate of knots then turns and glares and says "No really! that is sooo not happening!"

if we have the misfortune for her to have a poo stuck hanging from her bum......she hurtles into the house flailing and thrashing and screaming "help! help" OMG it's got me!"

Once you've wrestled her to the ground and removed the offending faeces....she looks at you with disdain as if to say " Well really, i don't know why you always make so much fuss!" and marches past with a look of forced tolerance at her pet human. :lol:
 
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this post is so funny you have to love her (w00t) (w00t) (w00t) (w00t) (w00t) (w00t)
 
Whippets Rule said:
(w00t) the baboon on Lsd has been out snuffling for squirrels this morning in the woods!

it trolled through the woods like a thing possessed, although all the slathering and snorting simply warned all wild life within a five mile radius that the monkey bitch was have its morning walk!

we saw one dog walker and their collie.....i believe the owner may still be trying to get their dog out of the upper branches of a tree as i type (w00t)   (w00t)

we came back home with the ugly thing poking it's head out of the car window,she nearly slapped herself to death as her lips blew in the wind, BUT no such luck it still lives! (w00t)

one side of the car is streaked with saliva and a cyclist we passed got a nasty face full too :lol:

it's now lying on its back with it's legs all floppy snoring like an over weight pensioner after a big meal (w00t)

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Keep on going with the stories - they are cheering my days up no end...although I might just need to come and rescue her one day! :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
meddling said:
Whippets Rule said:
(w00t) the baboon on Lsd has been out snuffling for squirrels this morning in the woods!

it trolled through the woods like a thing possessed, although all the slathering and snorting simply warned all wild life within a five mile radius that the monkey bitch was have its morning walk!

we saw one dog walker and their collie.....i believe the owner may still be trying to get their dog out of the upper branches of a tree as i type (w00t)   (w00t)

we came back home with the ugly thing poking it's head out of the car window,she nearly slapped herself to death as her lips blew in the wind, BUT no such luck it still lives! (w00t)

one side of the car is streaked with saliva and a cyclist we passed got a nasty face full too :lol:

it's now lying on its back with it's legs all floppy snoring like an over weight pensioner after a big meal (w00t)

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Keep on going with the stories - they are cheering my days up no end...although I might just need to come and rescue her one day! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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brilliant! :wub:
 
:lol: :lol: Were sat here crying with laughing! :lol: ........so funny...... :thumbsup:
 
awww you paint such a pretty picture of her :D :D But you've made me and my hubby laugh so much, thank you!
 
well, i think she sounds just divine...................... i can feel the love in the posts you write :wub:
 
LMAO!!!!! (w00t) (w00t) (w00t) (w00t) (w00t)

hilarious post !!!

she is lovely,xx
 
I've just had to read your stories out loud to my family - we are crying here! :lol: :lol:

More, More!! :cheers:
 
(w00t) :D :D :D :teehee:

This is great :cheers: You really, really, really need to write a book on your adventures :thumbsup:
 
(w00t) Currently ROFPMSL. :lol: (w00t) :lol: (w00t) :lol: (w00t)

More, More.... :thumbsup:

Sonia and Jesse xx
 
(w00t) (w00t) (w00t) EXCELLENT CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT :teehee:
 
awwwwwwwww poor dog not her fault she was dropped from a great height and hit every branch on the ugly tree.bit like some of the women iv dated lol :- "
 
This afternoon monkey bitch has really excelled herself (w00t) .

After her usual trolling through the woods and trying to catch a squirrel, she collided with a tree, which has done nothing for her looks (w00t) (w00t)

It had a streak of green tree mold down one side of its face so it rather resembled swamp thing as it hurtled chortling like a loon through the trees. :lol:

It came upon a pair of horses complete with riders and took one startled look in their direction and fled screaming deeper into the woods...in fact so far that we made a run for the car, thinking we'd finally lost the bloody thing (w00t)

BUT noooo such luck! the psychotic baboon doubled back and cut us off...

it emerged from the trees full pelt chewing on a huge gob full of horse sh~t and promptly shook its ugly self and completely pebble dashed my husband in crap and saliva from head to toe (w00t) .

at this point my husband swore, stalked towards the car and said "that's it, the bloody thing is going home on the roof rack" :lol:

obviously there are sadly laws which prevent that from happening, so the thing that will not die was trussed up in the back of the car breathing heavily,salivating and dripping horse poo steadily into the boot. (w00t)

She who shall not be named (atleast not nicely) has been bathed and although it will never look pretty or be nice, it is atleast clean... :lol: :wub:
 
Oh I'm having a crap time and this thread has really made me laugh! :lol: :lol: Thank you so much for sharing her stories! :huggles: She is so ugly she's beautiful. :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:
 
Whippets Rule said:
It had a streak of green tree mold down one side of its face so it rather resembled swamp thing as it hurtled chortling like a loon through the trees. :lol:
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:lol: :lol: :lol: you paint a pretty picture of her :lol: :lol: :lol: can't wait to hear about her next adventures and I agree about you writing a book with your gorgeous monkey dog as the main character :D
 
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