Puppy blues

[JaneBoxer]

Please no hate or anything, I have a 6 month old puppy who I am really struggling with. I work from home and now homeschooling as well. I don’t know whether it’s cos we are all in eachother pockets 24/7 but I’m crying most days as it’s all too much. I’ve read up on puppy blues..... he’s toilet trained and sleeps thru the night. We’ve got thru the nipping stage but he jumps up...which we ignore him or wan out the room. If playing with a toy he’d rather cheq your hand than the toy. I’m feeling like I have made a huge mistake. People are telling me to hang in there as it gets easier, I guess I was naive thinking it was going to be so easy but I’m at my whitsend with it all

 

[JudyN]

Don't worry, puppy blues are a thing and you're not alone - plus of course, these are difficult times for everybody.

Do you think the main issue is his behaviour and how much work he is, or is it that you're feeling a lack of bonding and affection for him in general? If he was perfectly behaved, do you think you would feel differently about him? And - could this be a reflection of how you are feeling in general, rather than being purely down to being a dog owner?

It certainly does get MUCH easier, and when my dog was a teenager there were times I really didn't feel I liked him very much, but thank goodness I carried on - I couldn't love him more. We can certainly help with specific issues, so do tell us more about which you're struggling with.

 

[JaneBoxer]

It is the time with him splitting myself 4 ways is hard. I do need help training/behaviour wise. The thought of not having him is just heartbreaking as he’s what I have wanted for so long. But when he acts up I feel like I could just open the door and let him go (I wouldn’t) I just give ourselves a timeout, he gives the puppy eyes and all ok again.

 

[Finsky]

Please no hate or anything, I have a 6 month old puppy who I am really struggling with. I work from home and now homeschooling as well. I don’t know whether it’s cos we are all in eachother pockets 24/7 but I’m crying most days as it’s all too much. I’ve read up on puppy blues..... he’s toilet trained and sleeps thru the night. We’ve got thru the nipping stage but he jumps up...which we ignore him or wan out the room. If playing with a toy he’d rather cheq your hand than the toy. I’m feeling like I have made a huge mistake. People are telling me to hang in there as it gets easier, I guess I was naive thinking it was going to be so easy but I’m at my whitsend with it all

Hi there. Unfortunately you are in the middle on the most difficult time in your dog's development. He is not a 'toddler stage' anymore, he has so much energy and it is growing by the day and yet he doesn't have quite the brain function to match all the physical energy he has. He is quite likely wanting to have things his way...he is bold, confident and energetic...not easy mix to handle and it is totally understandable that you would feel like it has all bee a BIG mistake taking him on. If it gives you any relief.....we've all been there, some with more stronger emotions and others get away little easier. It is particularly difficult to cope if this happen to be your first one as everything is deep learning curve for you too. Young dogs do go through many similar stages as human child does...often previously cuddly puppy does not all of the sudden want all that fuss and kisses....so there is no point pushing it for them....if and when they are ready, they let us or ask for that close contact again. We just have to respect their wishes.
Just like Judy has already mentioned....hang on...ask us any specific issues you might have and hopefully we can help you out. But if it something 'not so specific' that you are having difficulty coping with, try not to create yourself pressure that you feel that you need to achieve with your dog and its development. There is no absolute targets and timings when your dog should learn certain things. You can step back from all the training and let him be himself and let him figure out his 'issues'...we don't have to show and teach them everything. Under all that behaviour is functioning brain...they just have to put it in good use Just keep him fed, watered and walked...if he rather play with somebody else in the house or behave better with them...let them do the playing and have a 'break' from him. There will come those moments that he feels like he needs/wants you...and as long as he is calmer, then reward him for few gentle moments. If he changes his behaviour again....just ignore him again and carry on with your own things. He will learn that you interact with him only when he behaves certain way. Try not to make this change of behaviour from your behalf as 'a task' but something that you will just do now on...it is what it is. He will soon become teenager and his behaviour can change again...nothing is set to stone and they don't tend to be 'stable' until nearer 18 months of age.
Basically what I'm saying.....rather than demand change from dog....try to change how you react and handle the pressure. You don't have to be a 'supermum' and get it 'sorted' in a first year, not a race to achieve 'finished product'. Just like with kids....they learn over loooong period time...that's life and even old(er) dogs learn new 'tricks'

 

[Anouk]

Dont worry when I got my first pupper I was like "Where is the receipt!!! He going back, I can't handle this"
It is hard work but thank God they grow easy down wayyyy quicker than childeren

What helpt me was making solid schedule. At that time walk, that time training, that time play ect.
And ofcourse the magic of the Kong keeps them occupied for a long time.

On the forum there is lots of training info. Myself, I am using some of the tips of Victoria Stilwell for our rescue and they are working great.

"It's me or the dog" is also fun to watch and helpfull

 

[Anouk]

This one I really died laughing, lives up to his name

 

[JudyN]

I missed the bit about you homeschooling before - if I was working from home, homeschooling, AND looking after a 6-month-old puppy, I'd be REALLY struggling! So give yourself pat on the back for the incredible job you are doing.

You might want to look at some of the articles listed here, particularly the one on puppy biting: Useful Links & Recommended Reading

I'm also wondering if you could teach your children 'puppy skills' and they could take it in turn to 'practise', i.e. look after/train the pup, while you focus on your other child(ren) (or go and put your feet up for 5 mins or whatever). Of course, they might be the wrong age for this, and might have too fixed a curriculum.

 

[Blessing]

Hi Jane, hang in there. You're doing your best and your little boy can sense that. You're only human and it is okay to feel these type of emotions, just take some time out for yourself because if you're okay then he'll be okay.