Hi gypsysmum2. I did wonder if i was doing the right thing by having her on my bed.she was doing well in the crate at night time up till then (prob put her back to 1st night now then). Must admit today has had a few highs she went off on her own to sitting room ( i was in kitchen ironing) she has little snooze and play as i kept moving her as she was laying on my feet. Abd kept telling her No in firm voice. I feel like a 1st time mum i.m 60yrs lol. I try not to get frustated with her as she is still a baby but i think made so many mistakes with her over the last 7 wks that i cant see light at end of tunnel as of yet.she is so good at other things crying to go out.good on lead and at times obedient.i think i love her to much and when she gives me the sad eyes my heart breaks lol. I will go back to basics tonight with her in crate in bedroom. Thankyou for advice and will give updates soon xSleeping on your bed, lovely though it is, does not help her to learn to be independent. She is surrounded by your scent and when you take your scent away (go out) she cannot cope. It is very distressing for her and her behaviour not deliberate at all.
I would wean her, gradually, off your bed. Pop her in a den or puppy play pen beside your bed so that you can dangle your hand down if she gets distressed. Once she settles there for a few nights gradually move the pen away from the bed a little bit every couple of nights. Once she is near the door put her outside the door but leave it open. You are aiming, eventually, to have her sleeping outside the bedroom completely. This will hugely increase her confidence in her ability to cope without you being right next to her.
Use barriers like stair gates etc, to confine her, with lots of lovely chew toys, stuffed kongs etc for short periods each day. Do not allow her into the loo! You are not being mean you are helping her to be happy! Separation Distress is a terrible thing for a dog to suffer from.
There are other techniques to help her but none of them are going to work until she has learned to be more confident in her ability to cope on her own. It is a bit like children going to school they do have to learn to cope without their mum!
Thanks JudyN. I have found that Rosie sleeps better and longer on my bed. Ok bit pain when woken up by licks on neck /face lol. over wkend she has not followed as much and also gone off to either kitchen or sitting room on her own . This morning left while went to shop and she never cried when i was leaving and neighbour said all quiet so another little bonus. Small steps each day but positive onesRemember that a puppy, like a child, can only learn to be independent from a secure base. So while it's good to encourage separation, you should aim to keep it within her comfort zone. A dog who is repeatedly stressed at being separated from you, such as when shut in the crate or behind a stairgate, will not learn that it OK to be separated - it will just reinforce that it's stressful.
So personally, I don't think you need to ban her from the bed if (a) you're happy for her to sleep there, (b) she gets really upset in the crate and (c) if means you get a decent night's sleep, and I wouldn't worry about her going with you into the bathroom. IMO it's better to start with 5 seconds separation that she's comfortable with and build up from there than 5 minutes' separation that she cries throughout.
On the other hand, @gypsysmum2 does have a lot more experience than me so this is just my thoughts
Yes i can relate to the shutting in room as i didnt shut Rosie in kitchen i left stairgate open and shut sitting room door so she had bit more freedom and it was a positve outcome. All smiles today lolThat's brilliant, Marie
I also think that wanting to be where you are is normal and doesn't necessarily translate into SA - on balance my dog prefers to be where I am but will often be in another room. If I shut him in the room though he's more likely to get upset because he can't get to me - even if he doesn't particularly want to be where I am, if that makes sense.
