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Hi everyone. Extremely guilty new puppy owner here. My name is Lee and me and my Wife Becky picked up our Australian Labradoodle - Dug - on Saturday morning and have had 2 full days with him and 3 full nights so far.
He is unbelievably adorable and extremely intelligent. I think we have him toilet trained already where we're getting all number 2s outside and 9 out of 10 wees outside with the indoor wee being on a puppy pad.
One thing he absolutely isn't picking up - being left alone when not asleep in the day and crucially, not sleeping at all at night without us - which I've gone and made stupidly worse I fear.
So lets start with day and nights 1&2 - we have a crate that is in our kitchen and we had heard all the horror stories of fear of crate, fear of gate closed etc. Well, our boy didn't have it!! We put his Mum's blanket in the crate and hid some treats and he went straight in. After a few hours we were crating him up and he was sleeping for hours in it. He'd wake up, give a little whimper and we'd let him out and he'd be fine.
Then, night time came. So I should say we are trying our hardest to crate train where he is going to sleep in the kitchen as an adult. We've made the decision that our bedroom is our private area (our human crate I guess) and therefore we never want the dog in our room with us. I hope this doesn't make us seem cold.
However, I know this means we need to make allowances and go the other way if he's not allowed in the bedroom. That means Me on an airbed by the crate! He cried around every 45 minutes, then settled himself for 15-30 minutes sleep, then would cry. I let him out every time in the garden with no love or fuss to do his business. I soon learned that he is not crying for the toilet. I've already worked out that he only needs 1 wee between the hours of 10pm-7am (his bedtime) and that wee is generally about 4am.
But here's the issue. The more time I spend with him, the less he can be left alone at all. We aren't crating him when awake in the day because we have a big kitchen with nothing that can harm him and we have a see-through fence panel to our hallway and rest of the house. If we're standing even in full view of him but the other side of the fence, he now screams blue murder.
That brings us to the worst night yet and where I think I've broken our dog - night 3 (Sunday 20th November). With my Wife going back to the Office today and me working from home, we can no longer tag in and out. I mentioned I sleep on the kitchen floor and get woken up every 30-45 minutes by Dug so at 7am the first 2 days, she comes downstairs, tags me out and I get to go to bed from 7am-11am uninterrupted whilst she plays with him. Of course, this now had to stop because I am working from home today whilst she goes into the Office so we both need to be rested.
So on advice from other dog owners, Google, even the Breeder to an extent, we were told he's completely happy in the house, he absolutely loves his new parents thankfully, he seems to have forgotten his birth-Mum and siblings already. He knows he's in a safe place, both of us should go up to bed, he'll cry and scream and then settle. He might then get up an hour later and cry again, maybe that's time for a toilet break but nothing more. But essentially, he's had 2 full nights of me asleep next to his crate, he knows he's safe now so he should be okay eventually. This was the theory and advice.
Well, we put him in his crate and locked the door at 10pm. Sat with him for a bit until he stopped whimpering but he wasn't asleep. We then went upstairs to our bed. By the time we had left the kitchen he was screaming loudly. We then laid in our bed waiting for him to eventually tucker out. We went from 10pm until 11pm with constant, house-shaking screaming. He then must've passed out for around 20 minutes from exhaustion. Then at 11:20 to 12:20 he was screaming and crying and showing no signs of letting up.
I couldn't leave him anymore. I can't even say I was being selfless and say for his sake or because we felt bad. But my wife needed sleep to be able to commute to the Office and I didn't see the sense in none of the 3 of us sleeping. I went down and let him out for a wee. He then came back in and he was all over me, burying himself into me. After a few minutes and after the crying had stopped, I popped him in his crate and got the air mattress and put it right next to the crate. But this time, different! I've poisoned the crate. My head being about 2 foot away from him and my hand in the crate wasn't enough for him now. Eventually after 10 minutes, I opened the door, he got on the air mattress with me and then proceeded to sleep like a log until 4am, quick wee then slept soundly again cuddled into me until breakfast time at 7am.
At 730 this morning, I walked out of the kitchen to say goodbye to my Wife, he was in full view of both us through the puppy gate and it was literally 5 seconds and he was howling. He now has separation anxiety and I think I've broke him with the 2 hours of screaming.
He now won't go near his crate which he was going in fine for naps in the day. We've had 2 dinner events already, with my parents over on Sunday and friends over on Monday lunch and he slept straight through in the crate for hours. Now he is by my feet as I type this and prepare to work from home for the day. He used to be okay being left when fully asleep but now if I get up and go to the bathroom, go and brush my teeth, go and grab my laptop from upstairs - all less than 1 minute he's howling the house down.
So 2 things - I think I've poisoned the crate because he doesn't see it as a safe space even with me in the kitchen now. I'd be okay with him sleeping in the whole kitchen as its safe. It's essentially a large X-pen. But now because I left him so long crying, I can't even move out the room without major separation anxiety.
Finally, Dug is 8 weeks old. Everything in every book etc says start crate training/separation training immediately but is this wrong? I found an obscure bit of info on Reddit this morning that said it's hard wired in them to scream along until about 16 weeks anyway. If it's a case of we simply cannot sleep in separate rooms from him until 16 weeks, we can pause all sorts of crate training until that age but I'm not convinced that's right.
He is unbelievably adorable and extremely intelligent. I think we have him toilet trained already where we're getting all number 2s outside and 9 out of 10 wees outside with the indoor wee being on a puppy pad.
One thing he absolutely isn't picking up - being left alone when not asleep in the day and crucially, not sleeping at all at night without us - which I've gone and made stupidly worse I fear.
So lets start with day and nights 1&2 - we have a crate that is in our kitchen and we had heard all the horror stories of fear of crate, fear of gate closed etc. Well, our boy didn't have it!! We put his Mum's blanket in the crate and hid some treats and he went straight in. After a few hours we were crating him up and he was sleeping for hours in it. He'd wake up, give a little whimper and we'd let him out and he'd be fine.
Then, night time came. So I should say we are trying our hardest to crate train where he is going to sleep in the kitchen as an adult. We've made the decision that our bedroom is our private area (our human crate I guess) and therefore we never want the dog in our room with us. I hope this doesn't make us seem cold.
However, I know this means we need to make allowances and go the other way if he's not allowed in the bedroom. That means Me on an airbed by the crate! He cried around every 45 minutes, then settled himself for 15-30 minutes sleep, then would cry. I let him out every time in the garden with no love or fuss to do his business. I soon learned that he is not crying for the toilet. I've already worked out that he only needs 1 wee between the hours of 10pm-7am (his bedtime) and that wee is generally about 4am.
But here's the issue. The more time I spend with him, the less he can be left alone at all. We aren't crating him when awake in the day because we have a big kitchen with nothing that can harm him and we have a see-through fence panel to our hallway and rest of the house. If we're standing even in full view of him but the other side of the fence, he now screams blue murder.
That brings us to the worst night yet and where I think I've broken our dog - night 3 (Sunday 20th November). With my Wife going back to the Office today and me working from home, we can no longer tag in and out. I mentioned I sleep on the kitchen floor and get woken up every 30-45 minutes by Dug so at 7am the first 2 days, she comes downstairs, tags me out and I get to go to bed from 7am-11am uninterrupted whilst she plays with him. Of course, this now had to stop because I am working from home today whilst she goes into the Office so we both need to be rested.
So on advice from other dog owners, Google, even the Breeder to an extent, we were told he's completely happy in the house, he absolutely loves his new parents thankfully, he seems to have forgotten his birth-Mum and siblings already. He knows he's in a safe place, both of us should go up to bed, he'll cry and scream and then settle. He might then get up an hour later and cry again, maybe that's time for a toilet break but nothing more. But essentially, he's had 2 full nights of me asleep next to his crate, he knows he's safe now so he should be okay eventually. This was the theory and advice.
Well, we put him in his crate and locked the door at 10pm. Sat with him for a bit until he stopped whimpering but he wasn't asleep. We then went upstairs to our bed. By the time we had left the kitchen he was screaming loudly. We then laid in our bed waiting for him to eventually tucker out. We went from 10pm until 11pm with constant, house-shaking screaming. He then must've passed out for around 20 minutes from exhaustion. Then at 11:20 to 12:20 he was screaming and crying and showing no signs of letting up.
I couldn't leave him anymore. I can't even say I was being selfless and say for his sake or because we felt bad. But my wife needed sleep to be able to commute to the Office and I didn't see the sense in none of the 3 of us sleeping. I went down and let him out for a wee. He then came back in and he was all over me, burying himself into me. After a few minutes and after the crying had stopped, I popped him in his crate and got the air mattress and put it right next to the crate. But this time, different! I've poisoned the crate. My head being about 2 foot away from him and my hand in the crate wasn't enough for him now. Eventually after 10 minutes, I opened the door, he got on the air mattress with me and then proceeded to sleep like a log until 4am, quick wee then slept soundly again cuddled into me until breakfast time at 7am.
At 730 this morning, I walked out of the kitchen to say goodbye to my Wife, he was in full view of both us through the puppy gate and it was literally 5 seconds and he was howling. He now has separation anxiety and I think I've broke him with the 2 hours of screaming.
He now won't go near his crate which he was going in fine for naps in the day. We've had 2 dinner events already, with my parents over on Sunday and friends over on Monday lunch and he slept straight through in the crate for hours. Now he is by my feet as I type this and prepare to work from home for the day. He used to be okay being left when fully asleep but now if I get up and go to the bathroom, go and brush my teeth, go and grab my laptop from upstairs - all less than 1 minute he's howling the house down.
So 2 things - I think I've poisoned the crate because he doesn't see it as a safe space even with me in the kitchen now. I'd be okay with him sleeping in the whole kitchen as its safe. It's essentially a large X-pen. But now because I left him so long crying, I can't even move out the room without major separation anxiety.
Finally, Dug is 8 weeks old. Everything in every book etc says start crate training/separation training immediately but is this wrong? I found an obscure bit of info on Reddit this morning that said it's hard wired in them to scream along until about 16 weeks anyway. If it's a case of we simply cannot sleep in separate rooms from him until 16 weeks, we can pause all sorts of crate training until that age but I'm not convinced that's right.
