Getting a puppy - need help PLEASE

[Josie]

Nothing was intended personally on my part to anyone - I was just voicing my opinion on the whole thread which everyone else has been happily doing also.
It also wasn’t a call out for anyone to stop giving their opinion or advice and that has never been stopped on the forum, it was just something I felt was getting out of hand with back and forth with the original poster.

Everyone always comments about what a friendly forum this is and I just felt that it was heading in a direction that wasn’t helpful information (lots of helpful information given don’t get me wrong) with lots of back and forth replies.

No overhaul needed on the forum rules.

Any suggestions or ideas are always welcome though so please feel free to message me.

 

[Mad Murphy]

I'm really pleased @AriRR found this thread funny because I really didn't , this is a serious thread concerning the health and welfare of a pet.

@Josie I never mentioned banning anyone my comment about value which you have somehow managed to twist into a call to ban this person was actually intended to ask what value is this person bring into the forum ie: is this post something we want to promote ...as an admin I would have suggested that you tagged the OP and said *thankyou for your question which has been answered in full by various members . I'm sorry you don't agree with the answers given but I am now closing the thread for further comments*. That would have stopped any bullying that you seem to think you've seen. instead of this you have weighed in late and acted like the nanny giving us all a good slap on the wrist and sending us off to bed. if we are to be prevented from speaking openly honestly or truthfully there is absolutely no point in having a discussion.

 

[Ari_RR]

I found this thread interesting, educational on different levels, many other things.. but not funny. Unfortunately. I certainly feel that if desperately needs some humor.

Interesting also is that not a single user was mentioned when a comment was made that the tone of the thread was getting a bit too far, but many took it personally, responding “I always...”, “I never....”. I need to get into my armchair and think about what this may mean.

As for “honestly and truthfully” - it’s great to hear people speaking honestly and truthfully.
It’s quite annoying hearing them yelling and screaming, even when they yell and scream honestly and truthfully. And I don’t mean anyone in particular!!!! It’s just a general point. There is a short distance from “honest and truthful” to being a bit condescending or accusatory.

So, my constructive suggestion - let’s all lighten up a little, and enjoy dogs and dog topics here it’s Saturday!

 

[Mad Murphy]

Condescending was a tone certainly used in some posts ... But for me the fun is over thank you.

 

[DixD]

I found this thread interesting, educational on different levels, many other things.. but not funny. Unfortunately. I certainly feel that if desperately needs some humor.

Interesting also is that not a single user was mentioned when a comment was made that the tone of the thread was getting a bit too far, but many took it personally, responding “I always...”, “I never....”. I need to get into my armchair and think about what this may mean.

As for “honestly and truthfully” - it’s great to hear people speaking honestly and truthfully.
It’s quite annoying hearing them yelling and screaming, even when they yell and scream honestly and truthfully. And I don’t mean anyone in particular!!!! It’s just a general point. There is a short distance from “honest and truthful” to being a bit condescending or accusatory.

So, my constructive suggestion - let’s all lighten up a little, and enjoy dogs and dog topics here it’s Saturday!

I asked to be counted out because I am very aware of how I structure my posts, and do not wish to be considered as part of an admonishing post from the moderator. Perhaps many others felt the same. Why should they get a group telling off for something they hadn’t done. The easiest way for the offending poster(s) to be rebuked is for. the offending post(s) to be deleted. However, for that, a robust set of forum rules needs set out, rather than what there is at the moment. The administrator then will find the task of keeping the integrity of the forum’s position on posting a lot easier to maintain.

we are all armchair psychologists in our own way, and able to learn from this thread where we stand on what has occurred.

 

[DixD]

@AriRR. As you have identified yourself as an armchair psychologist, perhaps you could indicate whether you felt there was any manipulation or ulterior motives in the OP’s post. Or if it was a genuine question. The clues are, or aren’t, there. It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on those potential scenarios?

 

[JudyN]

I'm not sure we should try to second-guess the OP's motives - that certainly doesn't get us anywhere.

Everyone has different ideas on how a forum should be run, and it's not possible to nail it down in rules. What's fine for some is unacceptable for others, and posts can also come across in ways not intended. When there are criticisms, people do tend to feel the finger is pointing at them even when it's not.

Plus - we're all fallible, including mods/admin. We may post without having read every post and without having thought about every aspect, particularly if we think that something needs doing now and we are meant to be working or whatever. Which isn't to say that this is the case here, but it happens...

... sometimes we just have to shrug our shoulders, say 'It's happened,' say 'I strongly disagree,' and then move on to another thread and put it behind us.

@Mad Murphy I know you feel hurt, but I REALLY hope you'll stay on the forum and put this behind you - it wouldn't be the same here without you.

 

[DixD]

I suppose there are forums and forums, JudyN. You find a forum you may like, and see if you fit it, and it fits you. The forums I like best are ones run on well set out guidelines, where everyone knows where they stand regarding style of posting. I was on a forum once, now sadly disbanded, where a thread on a very divisive subject - animal testing - ran for two years, thanks to an excellent moderation team. I learned lots from both sides of the argument. The thread saw out two Christmases. It may still have been running, if the forum, attached to a tv channel, hadn’t closed down! If a post got deleted, and you asked why, the moderators would explain. There was strong debate and disagreement, but no personal attacks, emotional outbursts or vindictiveness. It was a great forum for learning to post in a neutral, keep to the facts, manner. I feel, given how this thread turned out, I have to recognise that an informal forum, such as this, is not the forum for me. And I have to thank the OP for helping me see this. Thank you, OP.

 

[Ari_RR]

I on the other hand like the “informal” part of the community here. Maybe because I try not to get too serious about things, and wouldn’t frankly want to be a part a 2 year long debate on an indeed a very serious and divisive subject..

As far as the OP intent - dunno... but that’s not super important IMO because the case he brought up is legitimate. I can see many folks in the same situation - want the dog, but living conditions don’t necessarily support having one. So, worth expressing opinions and advice regardless of the OP intent, I think....

 

[DixD]

I on the other hand like the “informal” part of the community here. Maybe because I try not to get too serious about things, and wouldn’t frankly want to be a part a 2 year long debate on an indeed a very serious and divisive subject..

As far as the OP intent - dunno... my that’s not super important IMO because the case he brought up is legitimate. I can see many folks in the same situation - want the dog, but living conditions don’t necessarily support having one. So, worth expressing opinions and advice regardless of the OP intent, I think....

I’m glad we’re in agreement on something, AriRR. I loved the 2-year thread. I can understand why you may not have. I learned so much through it. There were a lot of scientists and well informed lay people presenting primary sources, and well thought out debate, and it was very enlightening about the future direction of medical research. Also, for example, it discussed how even different strains of the same type of animal produced different results, which partly contributed to the controversy around Thalidomide. Each to their own (forum).