Feeling like a Puppy Mummy failure

[lynyona]

A friend of mine rang me last night and she said she had been talking to some of her friends who have always had dogs about betty and how she always jumps up and is hyper. One of her friends said that I am spoiling her and not training her the right and wrong behaviour and if I don't curb it she will always run the roost so to speak .I was a bit miffed about this to be honest. She said her friend as always had dogs and they never ever jump up at people she has working dogs as well . She went on to tell me that this friend said to tell me that when she jumps up or is doing something she shouldn't I should give her a slap on the nose with a firm No! Now all the dog training videos I have watched kiko pup that zak dude not one resorts to slapping the dog on the nose. She s a baby she s only 5 months.I have always had male dogs so I cant really compare them but they used to jump up being pleased to see people but grew out of it Is it the nature of the Pug staffy breeds ?.What riles me is my friend isn't a dog person anyway and I can imagine in my head how the conversation went which makes it worse .Any ideas for a terrible puppy Mummy I ll just keep her tied up all the time then shall I NO! ..rant over lol

 

[JoanneF]

Don't you just love when these so called experts benefit you with their sage advice - then suggest you resort to violence. Don't worry, just smile sweetly and ignore her.

 

[Jack-Russell-Lover]

Oh my goodness, no, no, no! Never hit your dog...I can't believe this person suggested this!
The best thing to do to stop the jumping up is to when she does it turn your back to her and cross your arms, no eye contact, no talking to her, completely ignore her ..then when she's got four feet on the floor give her lots of attention, so jumping up becomes boring and being on the floor is the best thing ever! It can take a long time of eveyonev she jumps up at doing this ignorance tactic for her to finally get the message so keep it up and tell everyone in the house/everyone that comes into the house to do the same until she learns that jumping up gets her nothing!

 

[lynyona]

Don't you just love when these so called experts benefit you with their sage advice - then suggest you resort to violence. Don't worry, just smile sweetly and ignore her.

I did actually say to my friend that all the dog training videos that they do not recommend that sort of behaviour towards your dog she said well she s always done it and it works her dogs don't jump up !

 

[Michele83]

Lynyona,

Having had my puppy for two months, I can now safely say that the biggest thing which makes new puppy owners feel depressed, stressed, and guilty is OTHER PEOPLE. Not only does all the advice out there completely contradict itself. But you also find that the main reason you keep flitting between thinking you're right, thinking you're wrong, doing it one way, then doing it the other, is because you're pushed and pulled about by what other people say is the right/wrong way to do it. Then you end up in a constant cycle of feeling rubbish and not sticking to anything.

It's very hard to do, but the best way is to read the advice, take it all in, but then add a slight pinch of salt and do what you feel is right for YOU and what best fits YOUR situation. It doesn't take much research before you realise that even the experts completely disagree with each other! Because everyone's life is different. Yes, there will be plenty of good advice out there and one or two 'absolute' truths. But there are surprisingly few absolute truths. It took me a long while to realise that I should do what is right for ME, MY dog, and MY situation.

I'm still trying to follow my own advice, so believe me I know how hard it is. But don't let other people make you feel bad. My whippet pup still jumps up at other people and dogs. In fact, almost every adult dog I've ever known jumps up at people in greeting. I'm not saying that's the ideal, I'm just saying it's completely normal and doesn't make you a bad dog mum! ALSO, this is an area of training which is very hard for you to control. Sure, YOU can ignore her when she jumps up. But trying to make other people do the same thing? When you might meet dozens of people a day, going for walks etc? Almost impossible. Seriously, you seem like a caring person and that will take you 90% of the way to raising a nice dog.

 

[JudyN]

You could point out to your friend that you are using modern training methods which focus on the dog's feelings, and your relationship with the dog, not just their actions, whereas it sounds that her friend learnt her training methods a long time ago.

I have seen videos of 'perfectly behaved' dogs who never jump up, walk on lead right next to their owner, come when called... Trainers use these videos to promote their training skills, but anyone well versed in dog body language can see these dogs slink along with ears and tail back, flinch from their owner's hands, and look cowed and unhappy. I'm not sure if you can see this if you're not on FaceBook but there's an example here:

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10154814833717001

Dog on the left was trained using a shock collar, dog on the right through reward-based training. OK, your friend isn't advocating shock collars, but it shows that so many 'experts' don't have a clue what they're doing to their dogs.

 

[lynyona]

You could point out to your friend that you are using modern training methods which focus on the dog's feelings, and your relationship with the dog, not just their actions, whereas it sounds that her friend learnt her training methods a long time ago.

I have seen videos of 'perfectly behaved' dogs who never jump up, walk on lead right next to their owner, come when called... Trainers use these videos to promote their training skills, but anyone well versed in dog body language can see these dogs slink along with ears and tail back, flinch from their owner's hands, and look cowed and unhappy. I'm not sure if you can see this if you're not on FaceBook but there's an example here:

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10154814833717001

Dog on the left was trained using a shock collar, dog on the right through reward-based training. OK, your friend isn't advocating shock collars, but it shows that so many 'experts' don't have a clue what they're doing to their dogs.

I can see the video and can see exactly what you are saying the dog on the left looks really frightened and I would never ever resort to shock collars or indeed them spiked ones its cruel. We had dogs from me being little and all our dogs grew into adult dogs happy and healthy to a grand old age as with me if anything my parents were guilty of spoiling our dog and the days of no dog training video. unfortunately the school holidays doesn't help as I look after my nephew and betty see s a great opportunity to play but he s never had dogs either and he s jumping around like a lunatic screaming she s going to kill me lol he s a bit of a wussy. I think I ll try the ignoring of jumping and maybe try four on the floor approach with her

 

[JudyN]

If you rope your friend into helping with the training - turning her back on Betty when she tries to jump up, and rewarding her for four on the floor or sitting - then you'll be educating her too

 

[Violet Turner]

If your friend isn't a dog person just ignore some stuff she said, such as hitting the dogs nose. You can go about things differently such as using only reward/toy behaviour, instead of destructive behaviour (yanking the lead/nose tapping). Dog Training by Kikopup, is a great trainer. Remember on the Dog forum you are amongst others who may be able to help your pup!