Breeder suddenly wants dog back, advice needed.

[Sheltielady2010]

A breeder who has become a good friend over last 20 years gave me a 3 year old dog on breeding terms. The agreement was that he would be my dog and live with me, but she said she may want to use him for stud occasionally in future so wanted to keep that option open. I was happy with that as we had become very good friends, I've had a number of dogs from her over the years including a bitch on breeding terms and all worked very well...until now.
Four months on she is now saying she regrets her decision to rehome the dog with me as it's not working for her and she's not coping with her decision and it's making her feel unwell. It seems that since this dogs mother who is a champion and won her class at crufts last week, it has generated a number of enquiries about using him for stud and it now transpires she hasn't told her breeder friends that he no longer lives with her.
The agreement we made was that he would live me and be my dog and the usual conditions about her choice of diet to feed him, exercising him and keeping him a healthy weight, vet checks etc.
I have kept her regularly informed of his progress by message, phone calls and sent photo's. He settled in very quickly, gets on fantastic with my other two dogs and has become a very much loved and adored member of my family. He follows me everywhere, sleeps on my bed, steals socks, leaps into my arms whenever I come home after popping out for a brief period. I'm retired so I'm with him almost 24/7. Her replies to my messages were that she was so happy he'd settled in so well, that it was an ideal solution and that he would only have come to me and no-one else. She's always said her dogs thrive when they come to live with me (I lost one of my other dogs last year as his heart failed, so I'd been waiting almost ten months to find another dog).
A few days ago she message to say she regretted letting him go the instant I took him home to live with me. She's saying the "trial period" isn't working for her. I've had two dogs from her in the past on trail and the reason she has given for the trial period is in case the new dog didn't settle with me it could be returned to her.
At no point did she explain that the trial period in this instance would work both ways, i.e. if she wanted him back, she could just take him.
She now says she wants him back and has offered me another dog as a "replacement" (Her words not mine, as no dog could ever replace him, he's my pride and joy). We have been such good friends, having nights out etc over the years. She didn't insist on a written contract as we are such good friends and she regards me as part of her family, but we made a verbal agreement that I thought we were both happy with.
I'm extremely upset as at no point did she stipulate that she may want the right to take him back at any point in the future. It's also upsetting because in her messages and phone conversations she was telling me how happy she was that he had settled in so well. My point is that if she was so unhappy about letting him go the moment I left with him, why on earth did she not tell me this straight away instead of leaving it for four months. She's had ample opportunity. Had she told me straight away I would have been disappointed but I would have found it easier to return him and keep our friendship intact. Now I feel totally devastated that I may lose my little boy who I utterly adore, I feel betrayed and it seems our longstanding friendship is in jeopardy. What would you do in this nightmare scenario? I'm contemplating (after taking legal advice) writing to her stating the terms we agreed and that I am happy to uphold the terms of our agreement, but not willing to return the dog as that did not form part of our original agreement.

 

[JudyN]

What is more important to you - your friendship, or keeping your Sheltie? Because sadly, it seems that you can't have both

I don't know if the lawyer you used was knowledgeable about dog-related laws, but Trevor Cooper at About Trevor Cooper | Dog Law is often recommended - it could be well worth you contacting him to find out exactly what your rights are. Good luck.

 

[Sheltielady2010]

What is more important to you - your friendship, or keeping your Sheltie? Because sadly, it seems that you can't have both



Thank you for your reply and the recommendation. That is exactly what is tearing me apart, the potential to lose my dog and someone I considered a close friend, it's absolutely devastating and heartbreaking
The lawyer I spoke to was Ann Harpwood, Justice for dogs. Whichever way this goes someone loses if the originl agreement is not adhered to. My trust in the breeder/my friend is severely damaged and as Ann put it, you have to decide whether your dogs welfare or your friendship is more important, she also said it's questionable how much the breeder valued our friendship to drop a bombshell like this. The shock, disbelief and sadness is so painful

 

[Hemlock]

I agree you should be talking to Trevor Cooper. I've attended some of his seminars, and he's great.

Was there a written contract? Was it a verbal agreement based on you both having been friends for however long?

 

[Sheltielady2010]

I agree you should be talking to Trevor Cooper. I've attended some of his seminars, and he's great.

Was there a written contract? Was it a verbal agreement based on you both having been friends for however long?

It was a verbal agreement, we've been good friends for about 14 years and known each other for over 20 years.

 

[carl99]

It was a verbal agreement, we've been good friends for about 14 years and known each other for over 20 years.

To be frank, if she's messing you about like you said, she's no longer a friend, I'd have no time for a "friend" like that. You either keep the dog as yours and end any "friendly" agreement, or return the dog.

 

[Hemlock]

Do talk to Trevor, but as it's a verbal agreement, as far as the Law is concerned, she can whistle Dixie. It's a shame as she was a friend, but no friend stitches another up like that. "Heads I win, tails you lose" isn't what friends do. There's a lot try, though. You are by no means the only person to get caught out like that.

 

[Adrian P]

The dog is legally and morally yours and clearly has been for some time. I wouldn't even let her use him for stud off-site, because she would almost certainly keep him against your will

 

[excuseme]

I think that knowledgeable legal advice would be the most sensible way to go !

 

[Feverfew]

Unfortunately it does sound to me as if you need legal guudance. Even a verbal agreement has some standing in law. Trevor Cooper is an excellent source of advice, and some lawyers do provide an initial consultation at quite a reasonable cost.
It is best that this is solved amicably, and you are wise not to get into an argument with her.

 

[Sheltielady2010]

Unfortunately it does sound to me as if you need legal guudance. Even a verbal agreement has some standing in law. Trevor Cooper is an excellent source of advice, and some lawyers do provide an initial consultation at quite a reasonable cost.
It is best that this is solved amicably, and you are wise not to get into an argument with her.

I would love to be able to solve this amicably for everyone's sakes including the dog. If I do as breeder wants a replacement dog has been offered, but that's not really the point. He's settled in so well with me, I've taken care of him, paid for his food, paid for his vets fees when he had very bloody diarrhea, vomiting, stretching with bum in the air, clearly in pain, very grumbly tummy and went off his food so I took him straight to vet. I've been religious about feeding him only what breeder requested, except when he was poorly, vet sent him home with royal canin gastrointestinal, after giving him injection to stop vomiting and boost his appetite and vet ran blood tests, which thankfully were all ok. It was vets opinion that he was probably just one of those dogs with a sensitive tummy, but if he had any more bouts with bloody diarrhea he recommended further tests such as ultrasound to rule in or rule out inflammatory bowel disease. He certainly has a sensitive tummy as he belches a lot after his meals and every two to three weeks or so he has loose stools, rumbling tummy and goes off his food for a day or two, for which vet said to give protexin pro-kolin and royal canin sensitive or gastrointestinal, keep an eye on him and if he had a severe bout with blood again to take straight back to vets for further investigation. He's not had a severe bout but he does keep getting these little tummy upsets despite being fed religiously only what his breeder requested.
I'm hoping that somehow we can find an amiable solution where everyone wins, including the dog. Breeder messaged to say they would call me, but I'm still waiting. I did message back to say what days/times I was free, so far heard nothing. It's so stressful and upsetting for everyone involved including I'm sure my friend/breeder.

 

[JudyN]

I don't know if sensitive stomachs can be passed on through the genes, but if so, that would be a good reason for not breeding from this dog. Also, stress may make symptoms worse, which is another reason why he would be better staying with you (and he should be on the diet that is best for him, regardless of whether it is what the breeder requests).

Not that any of this would necessarily hold up in a court of law, but your friend's response to these points might help determine to what extent she's putting her own needs over that of the dog. Best of luck for a happy resolution.

 

[Flobo]

It does make me so sad when people put their own needs(breeder's desire to have the dog back) over what's best for the dog. If her incentive to have him back is because his mother won Crufts and she can now make a whole lot more money from him, easier presumably if he's back living with her, then clearly his wellbeing is not her priority sadly... but money is
Hopefully you have saved all the emails over the last 4 months where she was happy to hear he was settled and when her tone changed post Crufts, it may just help when you get legal advice...

 

[Suzette]

My two pennies worth... the friendship is going to be pretty much over either way. If you keep the dog, that will no doubt end it. If you return the dog you will no longer feel the same about your friend. It will taint the relationship. So there is that. Second, you seem to have a lot of written communication about this dog and this situation through your emails so that should go very well in your favor even without a written contract between you two.
I am so sorry because I can see you are in a no-win situation and I do wish you all the best as you try to figure out what is best for you and for the dog. And I guess therein lies the crux of the matter - which answer will be best for the dog.