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- Reaction score
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> >A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to
> > take a holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the
> > time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
> >
> > He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,
> > nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying
> > on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows
> > up to the shore.
> >
> > In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?'
> >
> > She replies, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here
> >
> > 'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up
> > with you.' 'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat outof
> > raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree
> > branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern
> > came from a Eucalyptus tree.'
> >
> > 'But, where did you get the tools?'
> >
> > 'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the
> > island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I
> > fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile
> > iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.'
> >
> > The guy is stunned.
> >
> > 'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a few minutes of rowing,
> > she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he
> > nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an
> > exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
> >
> > While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
> > the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house,
> > she says casually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please.
> > Would you like a drink?'
> >
> > 'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed, 'I can't take another
> > drop of coconut juice.' 'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I
> > have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?'
> >
> > Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit
> > down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the
> > woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.
> >
> > Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in
> > the bathroom cabinet.'
> >
> > No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There,
> > in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells
> > honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel
> > mechanism.
> >
> > 'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?'
> >
> > When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
> > positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to
> > sit down next to her.
> >
> > 'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've
> > been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm
> > sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing
> > for?' She stares into his eyes ....
> >
> > He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes......
> >
> > 'F******g hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?'
> > take a holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the
> > time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
> >
> > He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,
> > nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying
> > on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows
> > up to the shore.
> >
> > In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?'
> >
> > She replies, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here
> >
> > 'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up
> > with you.' 'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat outof
> > raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree
> > branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern
> > came from a Eucalyptus tree.'
> >
> > 'But, where did you get the tools?'
> >
> > 'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the
> > island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I
> > fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile
> > iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.'
> >
> > The guy is stunned.
> >
> > 'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a few minutes of rowing,
> > she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he
> > nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an
> > exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
> >
> > While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
> > the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house,
> > she says casually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please.
> > Would you like a drink?'
> >
> > 'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed, 'I can't take another
> > drop of coconut juice.' 'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I
> > have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?'
> >
> > Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit
> > down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the
> > woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.
> >
> > Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in
> > the bathroom cabinet.'
> >
> > No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There,
> > in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells
> > honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel
> > mechanism.
> >
> > 'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?'
> >
> > When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
> > positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to
> > sit down next to her.
> >
> > 'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've
> > been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm
> > sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing
> > for?' She stares into his eyes ....
> >
> > He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes......
> >
> > 'F******g hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?'
