- Messages
- 4,751
- Reaction score
- 2
- Points
- 38
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY PHY OF AMBIGUITY.
>
> 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
>
> 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
>
> 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
>
> 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
>
> 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
>
> 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"
> She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
>
> 7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
>
> 8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
>
> 9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
>
> 10. Is there another word for synonym?
>
> 11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
>
> 12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
>
> 13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
>
> 14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
>
> 15 Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
>
> 16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
>
> 17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
>
> 18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
>
> 19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
>
> 20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
>
> 21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
>
> 22. One nice thing about egotists: They don`t talk about other people.
>
> 23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
>
> 24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
>
> 25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
>
> 26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
>
> 27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
>
> 28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
>
> 29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
>
> 30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
>
> 31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
>
> 32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
>
> 33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
>
> 34. Should an atheist be permitted to get insurance against acts of God?
>
> 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
>
> 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
>
> 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
>
> 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
>
> 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
>
> 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"
> She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
>
> 7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
>
> 8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
>
> 9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
>
> 10. Is there another word for synonym?
>
> 11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
>
> 12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
>
> 13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
>
> 14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
>
> 15 Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
>
> 16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
>
> 17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
>
> 18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
>
> 19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
>
> 20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
>
> 21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
>
> 22. One nice thing about egotists: They don`t talk about other people.
>
> 23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
>
> 24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
>
> 25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
>
> 26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
>
> 27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
>
> 28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
>
> 29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
>
> 30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
>
> 31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
>
> 32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
>
> 33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
>
> 34. Should an atheist be permitted to get insurance against acts of God?
