New puppy crying!

[Wendie]

Hi, this is my first post and looking for advice. I got a beautiful labradoodle on Friday (just in time for lockdown!) Since then she has been adjusting to our home, she has come from a farm and been inside with her mum and seven brothers and sisters. She is now the only dog, living with me, my husband and three teenagers. She is doing really well with toilet training, my issue is with her crate. She is refusing to use it in the day, as soon as she falls asleep I put her in it but she will come out very quickly, she would always prefer to fall asleep on one of our knees so today we have been trying much harder with that and helping her fall asleep without us but she will bark and whine, wanting us to pick her up, like a tired baby and seems to need help to get to sleep! At night I’m putting her in her crate she will cry for about 10minutes and I have been setting my alarm to get up and take her out for a wee. Last night crate was dry at 3am, took her out for a wee but she wouldn’t go, straight back in the crate, but she then cried and barked for a long time and then on and off until 5.30 when I got up. Crate was still dry and went to the toilet straight away but then cried and barked even though I was there! Since then I have tried putting her in the crate twice to get used to us not being with her every second of the day but she has become very distressed.
I don’t really know what to do next, I don’t want to distress her but I’m worried she will develop separation anxiety as she can’t be without one of us being there. With the current situation we obviously will be with her almost all the time but we will have to go back to work and school eventually and I need her to be able to cope on her own for a while!
Any advice? Sorry long post, worrying about her at night! Should I persevere or change tack? And if changing to what?! She is my first puppy for a long time, my old beagle died at Christmas and she loved her crate!

 

[JoanneF]

I'm not a fan of letting new puppies to cry it out. At this stage, she has just been separated from mum and littermates and will be quite confused and lonely. And, by letting her be unhappy in the crate, it won't be the happy safe place you need it to be.

It is really early days, I wouldn't fret about her being too close at this stage - it's fine to virtually ”wear” your puppy for the first couple of weeks and work on building independence later.

I'd have her bed in your room (if she hates the crate, what about using a pen) and you can comfort her if she gets anxious. This will not make her more clingy, rather it will build her confidence because she will learn that you are there for her and she has nothing to be afraid of.

In a couple of weeks, you can start working on helping her be more independent. There is a good game you can play called the Flitting Game, developed by Emma Judson who is one of the UK's experts in separation anxiety. It is described about 2/3 of the way down the page in this link.

https://www.thecanineconsultants.co.uk/post/separation-anxiety-fact-vs-fiction

And this article about why it isn't good to leave a puppy to cry might be of interest

Self Soothing & Cry It Out Are Neurologically Damaging Here Is Why - Simply Behaviour Dog Training Courses

 

[Ragsysmum]

Put her in a dog bed at the side of yours through the night so she isn't stressed and she will probably sleep fine.

 

[Wendie]

Thanks for your replies. She is much happier in the crate by my bed! Going to try again with the crate downstairs in the next couple of days.

 

[JoanneF]

Thanks for your replies. She is much happier in the crate by my bed! Going to try again with the crate downstairs in the next couple of days.

Don't make her go cold turkey though - have a few nights outside your bedroom door, a few nights down the corridor, a few nights further away etc.