Need Some Advice Please

[dana]

hey all,

ive just had a very strange chat with my mum and would appreciate ur opinions on how to deal with this. she has just come home from tunisia, now im not sure if ive got the wrong side of this but she said she has got a toyboy!! he is a waiter in the hotel and 26 years her junior ( mum is 70). now i thought she was jokin the first but the more she went on the more gewy she got! she got a phone call off him this morning saying " oh my darling when will u visit me" and still thinking she wa havin a laugh i said i hope u told him to bugger off. she went very quiet and after a while said ive not made up my mind yet! im mean WTF! wot dose a 40odd year old want with a 70 year old except a visa and her house??

im seeing her tomorrow cos i wanna speak to her face to face but im not sure how to tell her to leave it alone. im not apposed to her getting a man in her life but this guy is obviously a con man, and of course my bro and sis are leavin the dirty work to me. i dont want her to fall out with me but ive gotta make her see the truth. please help me any advice is greatly appreciated

 

[J.T.]

ooooohhhh thats an awkward one isn't it? Can't you intercept her phone & get his number & somehow warn him off, maybe suggest someone in the family is in the police or something which may put him off any ideas he has about fleecing your mum.

All my mum (74) brought back from her hols was some boxes of fudge :lol:

Hope you manage to sort it all out & still remain friends.

good Luck

 

[hely]

my mums friend did the same thing.........he came over, married her....took a load of her money and left...she hasnt seen him since :blink:

not saying this bloke would do that to your mum, but she really needs to be careful :luck:

 

[bertha]

Not easy, thankfully when my mother came back from abroad she only brought back a dose of Dehli belly, a terrible cold, constipation and insect bites!!!!!!! No men.

Just hope for your sake she is sensible.

 

[gogogo]

What a difficult situation! I watched a programme very recently on a similar subject called the 'turkish Wives Club' Older ladies on their holidays going to Turkey and meeting the younger lads. It did appear that they either wanted money and to be taken out etc by the ladies whilst on holiday, or getting married for a visa, it didnt make for nice viewing at all. The older ladies on the whole seemed to really kid themselves as to the reasons for the interest in them.

I do hope your Mum isnt being taken for a ride. It would be lovely if shes met a wonderful man at her time of life but you have to be so careful! Maybe she is enjoying being flattered etc, and there will be no harm in it, but if money and property become involved it will be time to step in. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and I wish Id of stepped in on behalf of my Father :angry: some people just wont listen and you have to avoid arguments getting out of hand because they dont want to hear it, I mean, no matter what your age , who wants to be told, 'This person isnt interested in you they are after your money!' Tread carefully, avoid a big bust up that will send her over to him for consolation.

If there is any talk of getting married, a prenupt is imperative unfortunately. God, its so sad to be so cynical isnt it, but you just have to be!

 

[posh totty]

would she sit and talk? if so why not sit her down , and say whilst you are very happy she is happy , that you have concerns , ask her if possibly he would foot the bills for things for them , explain how horror stories occur and that you know she is far too sensible for that ( play on her here ) you would feel happier if HE proved worthy of someone as special as her , also yes the pre nupt is a great idea , good luck and i truly hope this is for real and your mum has found someone special x

 

[dana]

thanks for all ur replys, there is some very sound advice there. i met up with mum yesterday for some dinner and we had a chat, i said to her

" that nobody would be happier if you could find a chap to share ur twilight years with and if u had told me it was fred from the bingo or bob from bowling i would be over the moon for you, but i really dont think this mohammed is genuine. i think he is using you and will take u for everything he can get and then leave u."

she went on to say that he is oh so very nice and she really likes him and that he had been on the phone again that mornining ( this is 3 times he has phoned in 2 days! asking when she is going back)

i said " he is going to be like mr perfect and say all the right things cos he will of practiced them of a dozen women b4 u and he will still be doing it to see if anyone will bite"

this seemed to bring it home to her, i felt like a grade A bitch i can tell u. she sat there with tears in her eyes and told me that the next time he phones she will end it, that we are all proberly right and that she was terribley flattered by him. i told her that there is no shame in that, everyone like to be flatterd by a hansom young man and u wouldnt be human if u didnt react to it.

i hope this is the end to it and im pleased to say we didnt fall out, felt as sick as a dog doing it though the last thing u wanna do is hurt ur mum or tell her she is wrong but it had to be done.

one thing that is worrying me is something my brother said, he recons that mums mind might be slipping abit. when he went round b4 her holiday he said she told him the same tale in detail 4 times and had no clue she had done it. now she has always been abit daft like that she either tells u 4 times or not at all but its normally over the space of weeks not an hour, and we have all said over this toyboy thing that "its soooo not our mum" she is a tough as nail and even when dad died she didnt show emotsion in public, she did her crying on her own yet she was close to tears in the pub? to tell the truth im beginning to wonder myself. guess im gonna have to keep a close eye on her from now on i might even have a little chat with my practice nurse.

 

[hely]

Aww bless your Mum, i really hope she is ok xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[J.T.]

Glad you & your mum had a good talk about this & seem to have sorted it out. Hopefully she will have heard the last from this man now & hope she's not too upset.

My mum does the same about telling us the same thing over & over but she's still as sharp as a tack in most ways.

 

[LVernon]

If my children warn off a boy toy of mine when I'm 70, I'll be sending their inheritence to the old cats home for their efforts!

Seriously, glad it turned out alright for you and your mum.

Louanne

 

[dana]

well she has tld him to sod off but he is still phoning her 3 times a day! im trying to get her to chance her number but she dosent want to cos its an easy one to remember. gonna see if she will give me his number so i can have a little *talk* with this fool.

 

[hely]

well she has tld him to sod off but he is still phoning her 3 times a day! im trying to get her to chance her number but she dosent want to cos its an easy one to remember. gonna see if she will give me his number so i can have a little *talk* with this fool.

:wacko: blimey, hes keen isnt he !

 

[Karen-Coral]

well she has tld him to sod off but he is still phoning her 3 times a day! im trying to get her to chance her number but she dosent want to cos its an easy one to remember. gonna see if she will give me his number so i can have a little *talk* with this fool.

before i read on to the 'above-quoted' I was thinking.. contact the phone provider with or without your mum's knowledge and report his number as a nuisance caller-and have it blocked

might be easier just doing what you think is the right thing without consulting her.....

sometimes it's kinder....?