The Day the P*nis asked for a Raise
I, the P*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
· I do physical labour.
· I work at great depths.
· I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
· I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
· I work in a damp environment.
· I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
· I work in high temperatures.
· My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response:
Dear P. Niss,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
· You do not work 8 hours straight
· You fall asleep after brief work periods
· You do not always follow the orders of the management team
· You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
· You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
· You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
· You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
· You will retire well before you are 65
· You are unable to work double shifts
· You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed your assigned task
· And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags
Sincerely,
V. Gina
I, the P*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
· I do physical labour.
· I work at great depths.
· I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
· I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
· I work in a damp environment.
· I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
· I work in high temperatures.
· My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response:
Dear P. Niss,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
· You do not work 8 hours straight
· You fall asleep after brief work periods
· You do not always follow the orders of the management team
· You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
· You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
· You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
· You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
· You will retire well before you are 65
· You are unable to work double shifts
· You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed your assigned task
· And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags
Sincerely,
V. Gina
