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Do You Like Pam Ayres?

Zephyr

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Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits

By Pam Ayres

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,

Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,

Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.

It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,

And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits

'Cos tits can be such troublesome things

When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.

And although they go well with my Bingo wings,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,

When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,

When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,

Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,

From the men on the site to the men in the suits,

Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,

Cruising around with my favourite suitors.

Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,

When they're less in the air and more near the floor,

When people see less of them rather than more,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
 
briliant! :lol: :lol: :lol: i love pam ayres!didnt she also write i wish id looked after me teeth?
 
:p Pam Ayres...there's name I haven't heard in a while. She used to make the whole family chuckle with her poems :lol:
 
love pam ayres

always brings a smile to my face,
 
I'll bet she never read THIS poem out on Blue Peter :- " :lol:
 
:D Pam's a card, we use to see a lot of her down here

Another "What ever happened to -"
 
:lol: yep as you've all said whatever happened to pam.
 
She occasionally does dictionary corner on Countdown - not that I know that you understand! :- " She still does her one woman shows too. I love her too and that poem's brilliant!! :lol: :lol:
 
(w00t) HILARIOUS but sadly true, :lol: (w00t) :lol: (w00t)

Sonia and Jesse xx
 
(w00t) cried from laughing reading that :lol: :lol: :thumbsup:
 
Love Pam Ayres that was so funny made me laught out loud (w00t) :lol: :lol:
 
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