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Actual Quotes From Hospital Charts

Rae

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ACTUAL WRITINGS OF HOSPITAL CHARTS

>

>

>

>

> 1.. The patient refused an autopsy

>

> 2.. The patient has no previous history of suicides

>

> 3.. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital

>

> 4.. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states that she

> was very hot in bed last night

>

> 5.. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year

>

> 6.. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it

> disappeared

>

> 7.. The Patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be

> depressed.

>

> 8.. Discharge status : Alive but without permission

>

> 9.. The patient has been depressed since she started seeing me in 1993.

>

> 10.. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

>

> 11.. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but

> forgetful.

>

> 12.. She is numb from her toes down.

>

> 13.. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

>

> 14.. The skin was moist and dry.

>

> 15.. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

>

> 16.. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

>

> 17.. Rectal examination revealed normal size thyroid.

>

> 18.. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until

> she got a divorce.

>

> 19.. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical

> therapy.

>

> 20.. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

>

> 21.. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

>

> 22.. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

>

> 23.. Skin : Somewhat pale but present.

>

> 24.. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

>

> 25.. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
 
:lol: :lol: :lol: That is brillant - I was in stitches (and not as a hospital patient thank goodness.)
 
That is great, Rae :lol:

I know I've seen it somewhere before but can't remember where :wacko: ............. maybe circulated from our local PCT or LMC :- " :thumbsup:
 
:lol: :teehee: brilliant :thumbsup:
 
(w00t) (w00t) (w00t) (w00t) (w00t)

Very Good!
 
jinnyfizz said:
That is great, Rae :lol: I know I've seen it somewhere before but can't remember where :wacko:   ............. maybe circulated from our local PCT or LMC :- "  :thumbsup:

Probably! I got it from the GP surgery! (OK for GPs to take the mickey out of Hospital Drs.... :- " )
 
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