A question of etiquette

[JudyN]

A friend I often walk with has two lovely dogs with rubbish recall. We spend a fair amount of each walk standing in one place while she hollers their names. At one point today she'd been hollering, then walked round a corner and one of her dogs was just standing there - they've pretty much learnt to ignore their names.

I've given her some suggestions - her little terrier now recalls better to me than her thanks to liver cake. I've told her she needs a new recall word, but that she shouldn't use it unless she' pretty sure it's going to work. But it's not sinking in.

I've heard good things about the book Total Recall: https://www.amazon.co.uk/TOTAL-RECA...8&qid=1537879672&sr=1-1&keywords=total+recall Would it be rude to buy a copy and give it to her as a present? Might she think this is an underhand way of saying 'Train your dogs, FFS!!' ?

In her defence - she has a hectic life, living in a tiny house with her son and two other dogs (one too old & infirm to come on longer walks, and the other a rescue too traumatised to leave the house/garden). She is on a very low income but if down to her last fiver she'd buy dog food and starve herself.

In other news - apologies for being a bit quiet at the mo. I'm having a problem with sore hands, probably a combination of fibromyalgia and too much time on my laptop, so I'm trying to limit myself to work and the absolute essentials.

 

[Josie]

I do cringe at owners who just shout their dogs name over and over and then wonder why their dog doesn’t listen to them!

Do you think she would take it with the right intentions?

Oh no. I keep getting sore hands and fingers lately walking dogs that don’t have any on lead manners! The change in weather probably hasn’t helped either.
Hope they eat better soon!

 

[Mad Murphy]

I think if you give her the book in a non confrotational way like ..I saw this and thought you might like it. rather than I saw this and thought you needed it..Then I think your friend would understand you are only trying to help her.

I do understand where youre coming from.. We started Murphy on a very limited vocabulary sit, wait,here, walk, leave it. This was in the hope that OH would cope and remember the commands as well as the pup!

But OH has great long convesations with him 'now Murphy thats it, dont pull, sit down ,come here, dont pull, I said stay here...'I think the poor dog is suffering from a verbal overload and as a result I think he has lost a certain amount of respect for OH as I know he listens much better to me.

With regard to the fibro, are you affected by weather at all?.. only since its got colder my hip is aching like mad again.

 

[JudyN]

But OH has great long convesations with him 'now Murphy thats it, dont pull, sit down ,come here, dont pull, I said stay here...'I think the poor dog is suffering from a verbal overload and as a result I think he has lost a certain amount of respect for OH as I know he listens much better to me.

Though don't you find that sometimes you realise they respond better to the words & phrases you didn't mean to teach them? When Jasper is in the way I find that he now responds much better to 'Shift yer bum' than 'Excuse me, please' But yes, sometimes OH does seem to expect him to do grammar as well as words.

I don't think weather affects me, though I know it does for many people. A more likely cause is my rediscovery of Candy Crush after a long break and also carrying cat litter back from the local shops. I'm now making a point of leaving my laptop in my study in the evenings so I don't start browsing (though I do sometimes get my phone out instead...).

 

[Josie]

Though don't you find that sometimes you realise they respond better to the words & phrases you didn't mean to teach them? When Jasper is in the way I find that he now responds much better to 'Shift yer bum' than 'Excuse me, please' But yes, sometimes OH does seem to expect him to do grammar as well as words.

I don't think weather affects me, though I know it does for many people. A more likely cause is my rediscovery of Candy Crush after a long break and also carrying cat litter back from the local shops. I'm now making a point of leaving my laptop in my study in the evenings so I don't start browsing (though I do sometimes get my phone out instead...).

Yes they do! We changed the word dinner to ‘you know what’ and now he knows what that means and we have to change it again!

 

[Mad Murphy]

When Benny was alive he used to get really excited and run at the door when my son arrived... my son jokingly said.. oh no oh no are you going to bite me?
So every time he arrived we would say ' whos that ? Bite him then.' Ok if it was just my son but some of his friends thought he had awful parents who set the dog on him!

 

[JudyN]

If I say I need to hang the washing up Jasper will run to the door hoping he can get me to play instead of dealing with the washing. He's so disappointed if it's rainy and I hang it up inside instead!

It's almost impossible to arrange anything without him cottoning on that something is happening. If I so much as say 'Shall we...' to OH he's on alert. I have been known to sing instead to make it harder for him to pick up on the intonation.

Having read the reviews of the recall book, it might be a little detailed for my friend to plough her way through. Can anyone recommend any that are a bit more practical, with a little less 'science'?

 

[Caro Perry]

Though don't you find that sometimes you realise they respond better to the words & phrases you didn't mean to teach them? When Jasper is in the way I find that he now responds much better to 'Shift yer bum' than 'Excuse me, please' But yes, sometimes OH does seem to expect him to do grammar as well as words.

My previous Welshie rapidly learned every possible variation of "walkies" we could come up with. You couldn't say the word in any context without him getting excited. He learned how to spell it, he learned it in Welsh, French and Italian and every variation in English we could come up with. You get odd looks when you start spelling p-r-o-m-e-n-a-d-e out in conversations with friends! Even that didn't defeat him!

 

[arealhuman]

I’d pass the book over in a non-confrontational way, too. After all, you’re trying to help

I hope your hands improve soon.

 

[millymojo1]

Talking of things people say to their dogs - I have a friend who talks to her dogs politely as if they are small children. ie ‘Drop the ball please Mungo’
‘Please will you come here Poppet’. ‘Please don’t do that!’
Bless her

 

[JudyN]

Oh I often say please to Jasper! It's all about the tone of voice, I think - I'd be more likely to comply if someone asked me nicely for their ball than if they said 'Gimme the goddam ball!!'

I think also it gives me a get-out if Jasper doesn't comply - after all, I only asked him, I didn't tell him

 

[millymojo1]

Oh I often say please to Jasper! It's all about the tone of voice, I think - I'd be more likely to comply if someone asked me nicely for their ball than if they said 'Gimme the goddam ball!!'

I think also it gives me a get-out if Jasper doesn't comply - after all, I only asked him, I didn't tell him

Oh don’t get me wrong, I don’t yell or talk horribly to my dog. She’s my best friend after all and I love her more than words can say. It’s just a little thing my friend and I laugh about between us.

 

[Rhythmpig]

All this reminds me of one of my border terriers,once the ball was in his mouth it was game on. One of my friends was playing with him and trying to get the ball,of course it got to the stage where he was telling the dog to leave it,not a chance. He turned to me and said'doesn't this dog know any commands. I whispered the magic words into his ear and told him hold his hand out......can I have a look at your ball please....just like magic the dog trotted up and put the ball in his hand. You should of seen the look on my mates face,it was a picture.

 

[JudyN]

Oh don’t get me wrong, I don’t yell or talk horribly to my dog.

Don't worry, I didn't imagine for a moment you did I've still to work out which bit of 'This path is too overgrown/brambly/muddy, I'm not going this way, we'll have to turn back and go the other way' Jasper understands, or whether it's just my tone of voice.

@Rhythmpig , don't you love moments like that? My favourite was when Jasper went haring off round a corner chasing after someone else's greyhound in play. The greyhound, though, was timid and was running away from him, not for fun, so I whistled him back. Her owner, who I knew vaguely and was of the opinion that Jasper 'thought he was boss' and needed to be put in his place, said, 'Oh yeah, like that's going to work.' The look on her face when a moment later J came speeding back round the corner to me was priceless

 

[Rhythmpig]

Don't worry, I didn't imagine for a moment you did I've still to work out which bit of 'This path is too overgrown/brambly/muddy, I'm not going this way, we'll have to turn back and go the other way' Jasper understands, or whether it's just my tone of voice.

@Rhythmpig , don't you love moments like that? My favourite was when Jasper went haring off round a corner chasing after someone else's greyhound in play. The greyhound, though, was timid and was running away from him, not for fun, so I whistled him back. Her owner, who I knew vaguely and was of the opinion that Jasper 'thought he was boss' and needed to be put in his place, said, 'Oh yeah, like that's going to work.' The look on her face when a moment later J came speeding back round the corner to me was priceless

I think I've been spoilt with the last two borders terriers I've had,sadly I've only got one now. I lost the dog I've been talking about in January (Smudge). I've only got Millie now but she's a class act as well. When we are out walking she ploughs ahead as they do...then... Oi...wait for me. She stands there looking at me as if I'm a lazy git.
Alot of people have commented at how well behaved and obedient they are. People say you only get out of them what you put in to them. I agree with this to a certain extent,but I think I dropped really lucky with these two.

 

[Biker John]

I tend to automatically be poilte talking to Folly, often she will be standing in a doorway, I assume she forgets how far behind she covers. So I just say 'Excuse me young lady, would you mind allowing me to get through?'. Somehow or other it works and she moves.

 

[Caro Perry]

Oh I often say please to Jasper! It's all about the tone of voice, I think - I'd be more likely to comply if someone asked me nicely for their ball than if they said 'Gimme the goddam ball!!'

I think also it gives me a get-out if Jasper doesn't comply - after all, I only asked him, I didn't tell him

Haha - this is how I talk to Harri. He looks a bit bemused at times but clearly files it away as one of the strange things humans do!

 

[Josie]

I often find myself saying sorry to Dennis. Usually after I’ve tripped over him whilst lying in the middle of the kitchen when I’m trying to cook dinner