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[Vicki Gardner]

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[JudyN]

Can I ask why she can't spend the night in the crate in your bedroom? Would you reconsider if this meant you could all get some sleep? It doesn't have to be forever - once she's more settled you can gradually move the crate out of the room and to where you'd like her to sleep.

An alternative approach is for one of you to temporarily sleep next to her crate in her room and gradually withdraw (over days or weeks) as she settles.

Bear in mind that this will be as unpleasant and potentially harmful for her as it is for you - her stress levels will be high all night, and won't have settled back to normal levels by the next night, meaning she's primed to be fearful of being abandoned all over again.

 

[JoanneF]

As above. At this stage, she is an infant who has been separated from mum and littermates and is alone in the dark. Meeting her emotional needs is just as important as meeting her physical needs. When she is barking or crying, it is because she is alone in the dark and anxious. By you being there for her, you won't make her clingy, you will help her develop her confidence by protecting her from the scary night time and she will grow in confidence as she learns there is nothing to fear. You are not ”rewarding her barking/crying,” you are meeting a fundamental need of an infant.

Hopefully you wouldn't leave a child who was afraid of the dark to cry themselves to sleep, alone. Your puppy is the same. The dogs that stop crying don't do so because they suddenly realise everything is ok, they do it because they have given up hope. It is an extreme example but in trauma victims, it's the silent ones who are most damaged.

This article explains the science behind it.

Self Soothing & Cry It Out Are Neurologically Damaging Here Is Why - Simply Behaviour Dog Training Courses

It is a good idea to start helping her develop independence soon though, and Emma Judson's Flitting Game, described about ⅔ of the way down this link is a good way to start.

https://www.thecanineconsultants.co.uk/post/separation-anxiety-fact-vs-fiction

 

[Tinytom]

If she cant at least sleep in your room in her crate in maybe best for the pups sake to rehome her ....if she is in a crate during the day and again at night ....her barking and crying is telling you something is wrong ....

 

[Vicki Gardner]

Thanks for your replies, logistically she can’t fit into our bedroom. I did start off by going down every night and lying next to the crate with my hand through the bars but it got to the point where she wouldn’t even let me move to the sofa a metre away which is I think why the dog trainer said I need to stop. Thanks for the advice, I think I’m a bit too fragile for any criticism although I know it’s constructive and appreciated, I don’t think I should have posted.

 

[Vicki Gardner]

If she cant at least sleep in your room in her crate in maybe best for the pups sake to rehome her ....if she is in a crate during the day and again at night ....her barking and crying is telling you something is wrong ....

She is only in the crate an hour at most during the day for a nap as I work from home, she’s with me the rest of the time

 

[Tinytom]

I would find another behaviourist. ...letting a 14 week pup bark and cry for 8 hours is wrong ....

 

[JudyN]

Thanks for the advice, I think I’m a bit too fragile for any criticism although I know it’s constructive and appreciated, I don’t think I should have posted.

Honestly, no criticism is intended at all - I've been there with my pup and I tried letting him cry it out at first because I'd been told it was the right thing to do. No one here imagines you want anything but the very best for your pup.

In your position I would at least try having her in your bedroom even if not in her crate - she may well learn to settle quietly on a bed next to yours. Whatever you decide, I wish you and her all the best - and some sleep!